Reality Ever After & That Thing Called Tadhana

AS USUAL, I DON’T KNOW where the rest of the year went. All I know is that they were all well spent. Not a day was wasted.

          Even those days when I practically did nothing – watch the rain drench my yards; keeping an eye on those resilient weeds and take pictures of their dainty flowers; soak in the morning sun, enjoy its beauty in the afternoon, and observe God’s green creation, including a grasshopper resting on the leaf of my money tree; walk/jog around the neighborhood and learn Journey frontman Arnel Pineda lives nearby and so with actor Sam Milby; even wait for a bird or two to wander into where I write and take a picture; and yes, you guessed it, lap up those TV shows.

        That wedding scene in Hawaii Five-0’’s season finale was simple but very romantic. Adam and Kono – played by Ian Anthony Dale and Grace Park, respectively – say “I do” in what looks like a clearing in the woods and decorated like a garden. Nature in all its beauty and splendor made the union and the ceremony look so peaceful despite threats to their relationship.

        But we will still find that out in the next season. For now it’s a happy ending. [Lower photo is from Hawaii Five-0’’s Twitter]

        In Asia’s Got Talent, it was also a happy ending for semifinalists Gao Lin and Liu Xin, an acrobatic duo from China and real-life sweethearts. They may not have won the championship but both are set for marital bliss as Gao proposed after their usual moving performance.

        It was funny how Gao grabbed the microphone from host Rovilson Fernandez and announced that he wants to say something to Liu. Aside from the stunned hosts, including Marc Nelson, the judges and the audience were also surprised but eventually moved by Gao’s gesture of kneeling before Liu and say the night’s most magical one-liner, “will you marry me?” [Photo of the judges taken from AXN’’s Facebook page]

YESTERDAY & TODAY

        In view of the above episodes from the boob tube, weddings and proposals have definitely levelled up.  It used to be that all you needed to do was get in touch with your parish church, the caterer and the dressmaker and you’re ready for a wedding.

          Likewise with proposals, just buy a ring and you’re all set.

          Today, you have a coterie of event planners and coordinators to plan and make your wedding happen.

          More than a ring, you may need a flash mob or a band to help you pop the question. 

        In September last year at Eastwood City, my sisters and I witnessed a sizable dance crew practicing for actor/dancer John “Pratty” Pratts’ public proposal to actress/model Isabel Oli. [Photo from ph.celebrity.yahoo.com]

        Moreover, participants to the wedding have delightfully ballooned. The peg has become “the more, the merrier.” There is now more than one Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor; and the Best Man is joined by a group of Groomsmen.

          In some instances, there’s a Little/Junior Bride and a Little/Junior Groom. Aside from the Ring Bearer, who used to carry both the rings and the arrae, there is now also a Coin Bearer and a Bible Bearer.

        There is also a Best Lady, which was actress Angelica Panganiban’s part during Pratty’s wedding last May at the Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage in Batangas. This is an interesting twist but Pratty and Angelica are best friends so I think it is just fitting that she gets this distinction. Another friend and fellow actor, Sam Milby, was Best Man.

        There is also a Witness of Honor, a title that went to President Noynoy Aquino during the wedding of GMA network’s prized talents, Dingdong Dantes and Marian Rivera held at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Concepcion in Cubao, Quezon City December last year.

        Moreover, the number of Principal Sponsors seems to have become unlimited.

          Dingdong and Marian had 20 pairs.

          Senator Chiz Escudero and actress Heart Evangelista had 14 male Principal Sponsors, as shown in this celebrity.yahoo.com photo.

        More than the number, the list includes most of the country’s richest men, like Hans Sy of the SM Group of Companies and Henry Sy’s scion; Ramon Ang, Fernando Zobel, Andrew Tan and Lance Gokongwei, honchos of San Miguel Corporation, Ayala Corporation, Megaworld Corporation and Robinson’s Corporation, respectively; and Bobby Ongpin of Alphaland, who owns the very exclusive Balesin Resort, where Chiz and Heart’s wedding was held last February.

DEEP PURPLE LOVE

        In my most memorable wedding so far, there were eight pairs of us Principal Sponsors, including Quezon City second district Representative Winnie Castelo.

        As mentioned in the preceding post, I made my debut as ninang in the wedding of Martin and Aiza, my daughters’ long-time friends. Aiza, specifically, is Pee Ann’s best friend. Held at the Christ the King Parish in Greenmeadows, Quezon City, it was indeed an interesting and enjoyable experience.

        Upon being told by the couple in a phone call from Singapore, I became both excited and anxious and the Drama Queen that I was, sort of sentimental. You know the usual Sunrise, Sunset feeling of “wasn’t it yesterday when they were small? …”

          My anxiety was due to having to wear a gown with matching heels, even wear makeup, and make a speech at the Reception’s Program.

          As it turned out, I loved my gown – its cut and color was perfect as designed by Celline Bautista, seen with me in the photo below. And I walked down the aisle comfortably with my heels with fellow Principal Sponsor PSSupt. Manny Fabros.

        That night, purple became the color of love. The bridal entourage – including daughters Bridesmaid Ghiselle – lower photo, second from left – and Maid of Honor Pee Ann – below photo, left; and lower photo, to the Bride’s left – was a sight to behold  as they walked with confidence in their radiant gowns in purplish tints of lavender, lilac and violet.

        And I’m glad I didn’t have a mental block when it was my turn to speak. I told them that at the risk of sounding unromantic, I will not wish them, “may you live happily ever after.” Instead, I said, “may you live, endure and enjoy reality ever after … for despite the romance and the kilig of the night, you’re in for more responsibilities and challenges that will really try your ‘till death do us part’ vow.”

        The phrase “reality ever after” is not original, it was used in one of those John Lloyd Cruz-Sarah Geronimo movies, but I felt it was worth repeating.

          Martin and Aiza describe themselves as “two imperfect pieces that fit perfectly together.” And so I added that, of course, they are also in for more fun, more tender moments and more adventures as they continue to discover each other’s quirks and imperfections.

GIGGLES & TEARS

        One young couple who had to deal with reality in a challenging way is Paolo, my friend Milen’s unico hijo and girlfriend Regine, who is also the mother of his four-year old son, Trent.

          Regine herself admitted in her vows during their wedding held at the Jardin de Miramar in Antipolo City last February, that there was a time when her relationship with Paolo was “more rough than smooth, more tragedy than romance.”

        But as the ceremony progressed, it is evident how they have successfully reached a decision toward marriage.  Borrowing the words of Regine from her blog, they have transformed from “needy college crush to emotional young parents” to having “a love built on the foundations of God’s design.”

        As expected, Milen’s eyes won’t dry the entire time. [Photo was taken before the ceremony and she was still smiling.] Well, majority of those present – including me – couldn’t hold back the tears as well. Talking about it later with friends who weren’t present during the wedding, Milen says, “they were tears of happiness … their wedding vows were so touching and they both gave thanks to their parents … all heartaches erased by a few lines from the heart.”

       

        Despite Milen’s tears and the solemnity of the ceremony, the wedding was romantic, candid and funny with the couple giggling in between their vows and the Pastor’s officiating.

        Going back to Regine’s blog, she has a meaningful message to their well-wishers –

          “For those saying ‘you’re finally getting married’ or ‘it’s about time,’ I appreciate your well wishes, but also do understand that if we got married a long time ago, it would not be for the right reasons.”

          She also has some good advice to young couples out there –

          “Kids, when your parents tell you that you’re too young to understand what love is, believe them. Pao and I needed that time apart for our love to grow and blossom. Our younger selves did not realize how emotionally torn-up we were.”

STRICT PARENTS

      This brings to mind what director Paul Soriano said in an interview: “Toni’s parents were practically running our relationship …”

        This pronouncement was made during his and actress/TV host Toni/Celestine Gonzaga’s wedding special entitled “Perfect Together” shown on the Kapamilya network. “But if I look at Toni, it’s all worth it,” he continued.

        It is common knowledge how Toni’s parents would impose curfew hours on them. We are aware of some restrictions, including no out-of-town trips with just the two of them.

          In an interview in the now defunct show The Buzz on ABS-CBN, Toni said, “he (Paul) proved to me that true love waits,” and she is thankful “for enduring everything, for the patience, for understanding and for honoring my parents.”

          To this, Paul said, “if you love someone with all your heart and if it’s true love, you will also obey their parents and their family and respect them no matter what.”

        The lovable couple tied the knot in a very solemn wedding at the United Methodist Church in Taytay, Rizal, the bride’s hometown, on Independence Day. [Photo from ph.celebrity.yahoo.com]

        In her vows, Toni said, “we can now do whatever we want and there’s no need to drop me home because now, you are my home.”

          More meaningful words were spoken during their vows with Toni saying, “it is a great love story because God wrote ours,” and Paul declaring, “you are my partner for life, my miracle.”

          But my favorite was a one-liner by Paul when he said with pride and enthusiasm, “I don’t say this in public but I love you Celestine.” [Photo from ph.celebrity.yahoo.com]

        Another couple whose parents figured prominently in their relationship is Senator Chiz Escudero and actress Heart Evangelista.

          Rey and Cecile Ongpauco, the 30-year old actress’ parents, vehemently disapproved their union and even went public about it.

          On the day of the wedding, her father sent a letter saying, “my only wish is to see both of you happy.” However, the old man didn’t hide his seeming animosity to the groom saying, “when I see Chiz loving you the way you deserve to be loved, I will come knocking at your door.”

FOREVER HASHTAGS

      Obviously, Mr. Ongpauco doubts if there is forever in Chiz’s love for his daughter.

          Ah forever – big word.

          Social media is in a quandary regarding this word thus giving birth to #walangforever and #mayforever. There is also #hugotlines to prove or defend each hashtag.

          In a recent post on Twitter with a photo of her boyfriend, John Lloyd Cruz, actress Angelica Panganiban captioned it, “Walang forever!!! Echos … Mizzing this guy tho’…”

        This resulted in speculations that the showbiz sweethearts are on their way to splitsville with no less than famed columnist Ricky Lo breaking the news.

          Prior to this post, I enjoyed watching their dubsmash – for the unknowing, this is a short selfie video dubbed from famous people or sounds – where Lloydie was acting out JM de Guzman’s line in a bus scene from the movieThat Thing Called Tadhana. Angelica was JM’s love interest in the said movie.

        The line Lloydie was acting out is actually about him. It went, “bakit kayo’ng mga babae, hindi ko alam kung bakit gustong-gusto niyo si John Lloyd. Di naman siya gwapo.”

          In the said bus scene, Angelica as Mace answered, “si John Lloyd kasi parang di artista, ordinaryong tao lang. Yung parang pwede kang mahalin.”

        Still on the movie, there’s a conversation between the two that sort of typifies destiny and I feel it is worth sharing –

          Angelica said: “Hindi-na-kita-mahal.-Makakaalis-ka-na. Seven words. ‘Yung eight years namen tinapos niya lang in seven words.”

          JM countered: “Alam mo yung love na eight years na kayo? Sa ganung love ka pa ba magdududa? Pero wala sa tagal ng relasyon yun. Ke eight months kayo o eight years, kung gusto ka niyang lokohin, lolokohin ka niya. Pag hindi ka na niya mahal, hindi ka na niya mahal.”

        Well, tadhana is also another big word. It is destiny in English or MTB as in meant to be. Again, social media finds this debatable.

          Some say, there is no such thing. Others do not agree.

          Ages ago, William Shakespeare said something that, “it is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”

          Decades later, John Lennon would say, “there’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”

         

ROMANCE REWIND

      There is definitely forever and Lennon may be right in the case of my high school friend, Ruby. Last December, both forever and destiny joined forces as she and husband Rico renewed their vows in a simple ceremony and a fun program that followed. [Below photo shows her walking down the aisle with son Macky and nephew Jason. Lower photo shows Rico and Ruby with their sponsors.]

        It was held at the Sto. Nino de Violago Chapel at Kalusugan Street in Quezon City with reception following at Betty’s Sans-Rival on Sto. Domingo Street. It was a small gathering of family and friends and we – her gangmates from way back in high school – were lucky to be some of those invited to this celebration of love.

        In keeping with the times, Ruby used a hashtag symbolizing her wedding: #throwback11041989weddingmoments. At the reception, she gave a message to her husband that was sweet and witty. She recalls that as a young girl, she wanted to be a lot of things, among them, a princess, a movie queen and a First Lady.

        “Hindi man ako naging prinsesa, ako naman ang prinsesa ng buhay niya,” she begun and, of course, referring to her husband. “Hindi man ako naging movie queen, siya naman ang greatest fan ko.”

          In conclusion, she said, “and ako ang first lady ng buhay niya and last ha Pops,” then nudging Rico. 

          No doubt, Ruby has found true happiness in her marriage even if she didn’t end up with Prince Charming and their life together isn’t really a fairy tale.

NO BLUSHING BRIDE

        A couple of years ago, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago likewise renewed her vows with husband Atty. Narciso Santiago, Jr., former undersecretary of the Department of Interior & Local Government.  It was their 40^th wedding anniversary and it was held at the Manila Cathedral. [Photo from newsinfo.inquirer.net]

        The witty senator has quipped then, “excuse me, I’m not a blushing bride, I’m a veteran wife.”

          Indeed, a veteran wife she is, 40 years is quite a long time. I cannot imagine though how her marriage is with Atty. Santiago. Do they exchange jokes and pick-up lines and is he amused by them?  Does he mind the funny cracks she makes at love and marriage?

        I have a copy of her book Stupid is Forever and it is such a fun read. It was even more fun joining the crowd the National Book Store Glorietta for a Meet & Greet with her.

        Some one-liners may be cornball but I love them just the same. Like these two –

        And there’s one funny line she shared on Twitter –

        Seriously, what can she say about relationships. Here are two from my collection of quotations by her –         

          “It is very important that you should choose the person you will marry and stay with that person. There are many people now who believe in serial love, loving one person after another. I don’t think that is good for our mental health. I think we should get it over with. Love is like measles, you know. You only get it once in your lifetime and you’re immune forever. I am very happy that is what happened to me. I am completely immune to any temptation. All men who have passed my life after I got married might as well have been sticks of furniture.”

        “I don’t ride roughshod over him (her husband). I don’t care where he goes at night, he doesn’t have to call me with his itinerary. I just presume that he’s going to be loyal to his marriage vows. And I’ve been extremely faithful to my husband.”

HOOPLA & HYPE

        Every wedding starts with a love story and it varies from couple to couple. But what’s interesting is that each wedding signifies two people going against all odds to declare their undying affection for each other in marriage. 

          I am so liking it that there is now so much hype, hoopla and ado over marital unions and, of course, the grand weddings that usher them. Couples seem to have learned to take the sacrament seriously as much as they do in preparing the corresponding ceremonies.

          They know that a spectacle of a wedding doesn’t guarantee a happy ever after. But there’s no harm in making it a grand event so long as you can afford it.

        There are even couples who marry again once given the chance. Like the case of Boots Anson Roa who walked down the aisle with Francisco “King” Rodrigo in June last year. King is 75 years old while Boots, 69. He is an international lawyer and a former Philippine consul general in the United States.

        And just recently, Camille Pratts, whose husband succumbed to cancer a couple of years back, got engaged anew to her businessman boyfriend, John Yambao. The proposal was a pleasant surprise to her and it happened at the farm owned by her parents and where brother Pratty’s wedding was held. [Screen shot from a photo posted on niceprintphoto’s Instagram.]

       

        The wedding of King and Boots was held at the Archbishop’s Palace and officiated by Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle. It was easily last year’s most unique celebration with a tinge of humor.

        In an inquirer.net article, Cardinal Tagle was quoted as advising the couple prior to proclaiming them husband and wife: “Refrain from giving kisses that will increase each other’s blood sugar level.”

          In the same article, King recalled that many of their friends discouraged them from getting married. “They tell us, ‘at your age, magsama na lang kayo, to the young ones, it’s called MOMOL or make-out make-out lang,” he said. “A relationship, as far as Boots and I are concerned, must help both parties. If we’d pursue this love without the benefit of marriage, we would be living in sin. I will not go into a relationship only to be damned to hell.”

MARRIAGE MATERIAL

        In the recent blockbuster movie, The Breakup Playlist, Piolo Pascual’s character Gino starts out as not the marrying kind until he meets Sarah Geronimo’s character Trixie whom he considers not just girlfriend but marriage material.

        The movie plot sees the two characters go through the usual complications and complexities of love but it’s a happy ending.

          But what makes a marriage material? And what turns men and women to become the marrying kind?

          I remember that interview with Toni Gonzaga in YES! magazine a long time ago when she said, “hindi ko pa siya sinasagot, naisip ko na mapapangasawa ko siya.”

          Well, obviously for Toni, Paul was already marriage material from the start.

        In a recent episode of ABS-CBN’s The Voice Kids, Paul, an 11-year old contestant, sang Bruno Mars’ Marry You. Coach Bamboo turned for him. Sarah explained to the boy why she didn’t turn her chair, “kulang pa sa puso siguro kasi hindi ka pa handang magpakasal,” then added in jest, “ako lang ang handa nang magpakasal … joke.”

        I hope boyfriend Matteo Guidicelli is the marrying kind. [Screen shot of Matteo while guesting in ABS-CBN’s Aquino & Abunda Tonight.]

        The show’s host, Luis Manzano, also made a cute remark when Paul’s mom said something about Angel Locsin. He faced the camera and said, “malapit-lapit na.”

          Early last year, Luis has posted in his Instagram this very meaningful line: “I became a fan of destiny when you came back into my life.” [Photo from pinoystop.com]

        Luis and Angel were separated for three years at which time both had relationships, with Jennylyn Mercado and Phil Younghusband, respectively.

          And there goes that word again – destiny. That thing called tadhana.

          Young friend Tintin is getting married this coming December to Guimo, her long-time boyfriend and father of her kids and she is getting me as one of the Principal Sponsors. Check out the card she sent me –

          How sweet it is to make destiny official.

          Anyway, all these beautiful weddings which look like scenes from the movies are an indication that fairy tales do come true. There is forever and, while people in relationships are not perfect, there is reality ever after …     

            Van Ness Wu of Meteor Garden fame and one of the judges in Asia’s Got Talent once said of his relationship to Singaporean wife Arissa Cheo: “Love is not about loving the perfect person, but loving the imperfect person perfectly.”

        We all know that even Mr. Right or The Girl of Your Dreams isn’t perfect. Billy Joel may be right after all when he sings, “I love you just the way you are …”

           This excerpt from the book Gone Girl says it best: “Love makes you want to be a better man … but maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.”

          Let me end this post with Miriam’s humor. And this has nothing to do with love or destiny but it may be stark reality for some –